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The reoccurring hangover – Part 1

You wake up. Disorientated. You curse the sadistic bastard who invented the alarm clock. It’s 5am. Or 6am. Or 7am (depending on your shift). You roll over and attempt to get up. At this point you experience your first stomach rumble. You heave…luckily nothing comes up. Yet? Every movement is that one step closer to bringing up the alcoholic beverages of the night before (along with whatever your greasy post-drinking snack of choice was – fried chicken is a personal favourite of mine). You clumsily knock things over in your bathroom whilst reaching for your toothbrush (tip: switch on the light, it won’t help the headache but it’ll certainly speed up the ‘getting ready’ process). Miraculously you make it into the shower with slipping and banging your head on something. Please note that a shower is not optional. Under no circumstances should you forgo the shower. Without it you will closely resemble Gollum. To be honest you will closely resemble Gollum regardless but at least you will smell fresh.

Once you are out the door you should calmly and slowly walk towards your preferred method of transportation to get to work. Once you are out the door you realise getting ready has taken far longer than anticipated (probably due to all the dry heaving sessions) and you now have 20 minutes to get to work. You attempt a jog to the station and immediately regret your decision to do so. You try a fast-paced walk instead and find this almost manageable.

You will find the swaying of the train particularly unpleasant in your current condition. You will pray that your stomach does not choose this opportune moment to make its debut and present its contents for all your fellow commuters to enjoy.

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