I feel the need…the need for speed…dating?


A couple of months ago I finally bit the proverbial bullet and joined an online dating website. I’d been single for nearly two years and thought I’d give it a go. Despite the horror stories it’s actually not that bad. Yes there’s the ‘unusual’ message from time to time but I’m going to put that down to the world being full of people with unique eccentricities.

The problem, however, is that I suffer from impatience. A great deal of it in fact…it’s something I’m working on. So, in reference to my online dating quest I find myself somewhat weary after the first few message correspondences.

It is said that a woman can tell whether she is attracted to a potential partner within the first 10 seconds of an encounter, in the online dating world that translates to the first paragraph and in some cases purely the choice of greeting  (in absolutely no circumstances is ‘Yo’ acceptable unless you are in fact Aaron Paul portraying ‘Jesse Pinkman’). Even then you’d be on thin ice as I found Jesse to be an incredibly exasperating character.

In consideration of the above I propose a solution. Online dating speed-dating events. In fact, I’m surprised this isn’t already a thing. Nevertheless, I shall be contacting Dragons Den immediately with this ingenious idea. Online dating websites should host speed dating events for its members who match or ‘like’ one another. It would take some of the pressure off a one-to-one ‘meet-up’ (no one calls them ‘dates’ any more as we live in an age of ambiguity). Instead, you’d have a room filled with nervous, sweaty, socially awkward individuals desperately avoiding eye contact. I appear to have just described the London Underground.  Perhaps this would pose as a possible venue choice?


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