I wish people would trust in themselves more.
I have recently discovered a new trait in people. Hesitation. The inability to make a decision without another’s input. Now this isn’t me discouraging you to seek advice. Seeking advice can be brilliant. You gain knowledge from others who have been in similar situations, you learn from them, hear of their experiences and it perhaps allows you to weigh up all your options before making a decision. However, hesitation can be incredibly counter productive. It is a form of procrastination. In my opinion, advice should not be sought on the little things. The insignificant issues that in the greater scheme of things don’t actually matter that much. I wonder if the hesitation stems from a insecurity; being unsure of oneself and not being confident enough or brave enough to take the plunge. I also wonder if hesitation stems from an unconscious desire for melodrama. By building up the issue in your mind, dwelling on it, fretting over it, seeking the advice of others on it, the individual places more importance on the subject than is perhaps actually required. They have quite literally (metaphorically) made a mountain out of a mole hill.
The irony is that I used to consider myself an indecisive individual. Perhaps this is something I grew out of though as now when I notice the trait in others it frustrates me. Even more so when it is a decision of inconsequential value, for example ‘shall I buy this item or that?’, ‘how shall I reply to this person’s text without seeming…(insert neurosis here)?’ Or the classic, ‘do you think I should…?’. I have probably asked one, if not all, of these questions at some point but I almost instantly realise the futility behind them. Ultimately, the decision is mine to make; it will affect me, not the person whose advice I am seeking.
Another possible reason I may have outgrown my indecisiveness is that I began to act on impulse. I have become more spontaneous and tend to trust in my gut. My father once gave me a piece of advice in regards to panicking or stressing over a situation of little significance; “imagine the worst possible outcome, prepare yourself for that anything else will pale in comparison and can be regarded as a win”. As a result, I tend to just go with the flow and deal with the consequences if and when they arise. Surely life’s too short to be dwelling over the little things.
So I suppose what I’m trying to say is don’t over think it. Your first impulse is usually the right one and even if it’s not, then you can deal with it when the time comes. Don’t worry too much about how you’re coming across or how ‘that may sound’. Do what you believe is right. Don’t put it off. Take the plunge. Put yourself out there, but most importantly, trust in yourself and your ability to make the right decisions. Perhaps all this is easier said than done and perhaps I tend to find it easier to act impulsively because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I tend not to hold back. Perhaps putting off making decisions could also be seen as a type of defence mechanism for some people; those that are guarded or somewhat insecure may fear being judged for their decisions and so it’s easier to delay making them. Perhaps by seeking advice on decisions the individual is also convinced that they have absolved themselves of some of the responsibility for that decision, they can tell themselves “well so and so told me to do this so technically this isn’t my fault”. In all honesty, I’m not quite sure why people hesitate when it comes to making decisions or over think them or build them up to be more important than they are, I can only speculate it is because they don’t trust in themselves and that is something I find quite worrying.