Act like an emotionally mature individual, think like an emotionally stable individual…

Maybe liking someone isn’t as big of a deal as people make it out to be…maybe it’s simply that; you like someone. You like elements of their personality, you find them aesthetically pleasing, they make you laugh, they make you smile, they give you goose bumps and butterflies and all the rest of it. Now you may argue that that all sounds a bit soppy, but could it not be that perhaps our disregard of romance is simply a defence mechanism?

I’ll admit, I’m someone with somewhat of a nonchalant character. I’m carefree and easy going and for the most part, I take things as they come. I tend not to over analyse or over think things and I find grand displays of emotion rather cringe worthy. Perhaps I’m a man stuck in a woman’s body. How I differ from men though is this; I like to communicate…a lot. I talk a lot, I write a lot, I express my opinions a lot and I prefer being direct rather than beating around the bush or expecting someone to be able to read my mind. If you feel something, say it!

So here’s what I take issue with, here’s the real crux of this blog post. I was watching an episode of a popular American TV show a couple of weeks ago and a character who had been stood up by her date said; “I don’t understand what I did wrong, I followed all the rules, I never texted him first, I didn’t come on too strong…” etc etc.  I’m sorry but who was it that decided that in pursuing someone romantically certain rules should be followed? What utter nonsense! If you like someone, tell them. I’m not saying go overboard and tell em you love them on a first date. I’m not saying call them 50 times a day and I’m certainly not saying start picking out names for the kids you imagine yourself having with them in the future…because all of these things are signs of somewhat psychotic if not at least incredibly worrying behaviour.

What I am saying is this; relationships should not have rules. There shouldn’t be a pre-defined procedure in the process of getting to know someone. If you like someone, ask them out. If it goes well, go out again. If you want to kiss them, kiss them! Don’t follow some fucktard’s timeframe of when the supposed right time to kiss someone is. The way I see it, YOU are responsible for your actions and YOU will have to deal with the consequences of the decisions you make, not shanaynay or shaniqua or whichever friend you are getting retarded relationship advice from. In fact, I think I take issue with relationship advice in general and yes I see the irony because you could argue that that’s exactly what I’m dishing out here, it is not. I am merely expressing an opinion on a topic which frustrates me and it frustrates me because I often see it on my twitter feed and I consider either repeatedly banging my head against a wall or deleting my twitter account purely to avoid the nonsense I see spewed on there. Sorry, I’m ranting now aren’t I.

Perhaps what it really comes down to is fear. I stated earlier that we all implement certain defence mechanisms when it comes to meeting someone new, whether it be putting up a wall to avoid getting hurt or pride which holds us back from falling too deeply too quickly or appearing to have fallen for the person. I can’t stand games though and I think people that play them with other people’s emotions have some deep rooted pathological sadistic issues. Either that or they’re just INCREDIBLY stupid. “I can’t think for myself therefore I shall see what ridiculous books like ‘think like a man, act like a woman” can tell me about myself and how I should behave. Men, may I suggest that you avoid such women at all costs, they are clearly unstable and most likely somewhat insane.

Finally, I shall end this post with some of the nonsense musings I have seen on twitter…please be aware that I am paraphrasing as I tend to ignore the majority of these kinds of tweets and thus cannot recall them word for word;

“He/She don’t love you if he/she ain’t the jealous type”

“It’s normal to check your partner’s phone”

“Nothing wrong with fightin with a bitch ova your man”

“You should wait 90 days before sleeping with the guy you are dating”

“You can’t meet your bf/gf in a bar/club/on a social networking site”

“Make sure you end your texts with 2 ‘x’s to let them know you like them”

Wow. It’s something isn’t it…and by something I mean complete rubbish. I shall leave you with this final note, my ‘final thought’ as you will…(that was a throwback for the Jerry Springer fans)…A relationship, whether it be in its infancy and still at the dating stage, or whether it be serious and long term is between YOU and YOUR PARTNER. Any issues you may have about the relationship should be discussed between YOU and YOUR PARTNER. Advice may be sought from credible friends who themselves have been in healthy, long term relationships but the final decision on how to handle a particular matter is yours because it doesn’t concern them, it doesn’t even affect them. Again, it affects YOU and YOUR PARTNER. 

One reply on “Act like an emotionally mature individual, think like an emotionally stable individual…”

Came across this via your twitter, kinda amazed to read something of this length that has soo much sense to it. Totally agree with your point on taking advice from silly sources like “think like a man”.

More people should have this approach of being able to think for themselves, and actually letting someone know they like them without letting pride get in the way.

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