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Society

My eyes are up here?

I remember the first time it happened, I was out with my gay friend Conrad at ‘Heaven’ night club in charing cross about 5-6 years ago. We were dancing and this Brazilian girl came up to me and started dancing with me. Shakira didn’t have anything on this girl. I also think she was kinda high though lol. She told me I had a beautiful body and that I really knew how to dance. I giggled nervously but I also remember feeling exhilarated. She continued to compliment me and then asked if I was bi-sexual and whether I wanted to come back to hers. I declined and Conrad bitchily commented that he was the gay one and I was getting more attention than him that night. I miss those nights out with Conrad.

Anyway, here’s what I’ve noticed over the years though. Why is it that when a female compliments me or even approaches me, my reaction is different to that if a man were to do it. If a female compliments me I think ‘aww that’s genuinely sweet of her to say’. However, if a man compliments me I think ‘perv!’. Not always of course, perhaps it depends on the type of man and the type of compliment itself. Perhaps it’s just that over the years I’ve received more crude and sleazy compliments from men than women that I subconsciously think any compliment from a guy is disingenuous. Perhaps I feel more comfortable about a compliment from a woman because I don’t necessarily think she wants anything from it. When a woman compliments you, it may be that the conversation ends there, it may be a passing comment such as “hey you’re really pretty by the way”. I have had this sort of comment in the toilets of bars/restaurants and then they’ll leave. Whereas if a man says this sort of thing, it’s not usually the beginning and end of a conversation and perhaps that is what I feel apprehensive about. I’ll be honest there have been times when I’ve received such a compliment from a guy and in my head I’ll have rolled my eyes. How awful is that! I sound like an arrogant twat and somewhat of a bitch lol But it’s the way some guys say it…it’s the way they might look you up and down and stare at a particular part of you for a bit longer than they should, it might be the tone of voice they use.

At the end of a day a compliment is a compliment and it is flattering and I’m incredibly grateful to have received it, but what I wonder is why I feel like compliments from women are more genuine. Perhaps it’s my own naivety in assuming women mean nothing by the compliment, they could be having just as perverted thoughts in their heads as men do lol I think something that throws me off from thinking this is that women will also usually compliment your clothing or accessories i.e. ‘hey I love your top’ or ‘that dress looks really nice on you’ but for all I know, they could be thinking I love the way that dress accentuates your curves or clings to your body…here’s the thing though, men will actually say stuff like that lol. So perhaps it’s simply that women are more subtle in perving lol I mean when was the last time ladies that a guy complimented your necklace for a reason other than to check out your cleavage lol I may just be being cynical now. I think what I’d prefer are compliments about personality. They’d be less awkward no?

Anywhooz enough rambling, this blog was inspired by a conversation I had with a good female friend this morning and it got me thinking. I’d like to hear what other ladies and guys think. Also, I apologise if I’ve come across as someone who is basically saying ‘I get complimented a lot’. That’s not what was intended by this post, what was intended was to spark a debate about whether women prefer compliments from other women and why you think that is.

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